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If your in recovery how do you get around the holidays?
JennBrown

72 posts

Posted by JennBrown (Columbus) on Dec 22, 2009 at 01:50 PM

     

Do you have any tips or tricks for getting around the holidays without telling others why your not drinking? Like drink cranberry juice it looks like red wine. Or drink gingerale it looks like wisky. Or do you flat out say I'm in recovery? http://www.sobercolumbus.com



JennBrown

Replies
46
Kisser78

1488 posts

by 
Kisser78(Grand Rapids)

 on Dec 22, 2009 at 02:19 PM

  

  

My DH is in recovery, has been for 6 years . . .   He got sober right before Thanksgiving.  His method is to order soda or juice - there is no reason to explain why you aren't drinking.  I don't drink.  I simply don't care for it.  No one asks me why I don't drink, and they don't ask HIM why either.  I don't think anyone really cares.  IMO, if you are committed to recovery, it doesn't matter.  If you think you are in danger of relapse you should probably go to meetings instead of drinking type places.  There are plenty of booze free places to spend New Year's.  Visit your AA places and ask around.

  

iamcat

1549 posts

by 
iamcat(Lansing)

 on Dec 22, 2009 at 02:35 PM

  

  

DH's close friend is in recovery.  I've never seen anyone make any kind of issue.  He was best man at our wedding and he asked for sparkling cider for the toast, but we weren't planning on a champaigne toast.  He was perfectly happy to raise his glass of pepsi or whatever it was he was drinking.



Cat - Mom to Paige & Zoe
SAHM? Ask me about MOMS Club of Lansing, Holt, Grand Ledge, Dimondale & Potterville

  

BlueEyedKong

1583 posts

by 
BlueEyedKong(Sacramento)

 on Dec 22, 2009 at 02:46 PM

  

  

I drink for fun, moderately and responsibly, if someone is drinking a non alcoholic beverage at a party I'm drinking at I don't ask for their explanation, its their choice after all, anyone who does ask (I would think) cant be that good of a friend if they didn't know of your recovery status, so maybe its as simple as saying "I don't feel like it" (if it was me I'd be more blunt and say "none of your business" LoL) because really they shouldn't care what you're drinking, just that you're having a good time :-)



~*Tara*~

  

MavSavMom

576 posts

by 
MavSavMom(First Coast)

 on Dec 22, 2009 at 02:47 PM

  

  

Why does it matter what anyone else thinks you are drinking?

Once you can get over worry about what others think, you will really be on the road to recovery.

Rejoice and relax that you have begun to live life without a numbing drink that takes away part of your spirit.

You should be able to enjoy the taste of the food you eat, and learn to enjoy non alcholic drinks.

 



Merry Christmas to one and all!!

  

sassymom01

371 posts

by 
sassymom01(Atlanta)

 on Dec 22, 2009 at 02:47 PM

  

  

I have stopped drinking because we are hoping to get pregnant so I do understand. I don't want to tell people why I am not drinking.

At first I would tell everyone that I am drinking because I don't feel like it but then that didn't work well because they would want to know if everything is okay and it was too much. So now I  would  have a glass of cranberry and orange juice. Once they see me with a glass, I  guess they figure that I have a drink and they leave me alone. I have even try the one that i am not drinking because I am driving and then they would insist on just take one, by the time you are ready to go, you will be okay. You are not in a rush to leave. But pretending that you are drinking is the best cause they leave you alone and you don't have to explain anything to anyone.



Everything that happens, happens for a good reason; you just have to look and you will see the good instead of the bad.

  

finnaryn

764 posts

by 
finnaryn(Des Moines)

 on Dec 22, 2009 at 03:14 PM

  

  

If you feel like you need to tell someone what you are drinking (or not drinking) just say that you don’t feel like drinking alcohol that night. If anyone has a problem with it, such as they are encouraging you to drink something stronger, either they are not a friend (and it doesn’t matter what they think) or they are a toxic friend and you need to get rid of them. No one, recovery or not, should have to ever explain what they are not drinking alcohol. I drink alcohol on occasion, but more often than not I drink a soda or water with lime (Yummy!) when I am out with friends.

I would try to surround yourself with close friends who do know that you are in recovery so they can encourage you and offer support in situations where the temptation is there.

And good luck to you! Stay strong and remember that you are working twords something for yourself.

  

dl5crew

3470 posts

by 
dl5crew(Upstate SC)

 on Dec 22, 2009 at 03:18 PM

  

  

I think that you should not have to explain. There are some who feel the need to know why. Just tell them you have decided to be alcohol free for the season.



GO YANKEES!!!! I am one. I can not do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I can not do interfere with what I can do.
I am only one, but I am one. I can not do everything, but I

  

twotots

1912 posts

by 
twotots(St. Louis)

 on Dec 22, 2009 at 03:23 PM

  

  

I haven't REALLY ever had a drinking problem but I personally think you should tell everyone about your journey to recovery.  IF they are truly your friends they will encourage you (at the party and the rest of the year and coming years!) and help you find other alternative drinks whle you're at the party!  You don't need to 'pretend' to drink by drinking cranberry juice or anything else.  You need to show everyone that you are a strong woman and are working to better your life.

Congratulations on your making changes to better your situation!!



I just wish that I was on the beach sipping a frosty drink and reading a good book while the kids splashed and played in the water and sand.

  

CindaMurdock

2299 posts

by 
CindaMurdock(Denver)

 on Dec 22, 2009 at 03:28 PM

  

  

I've never been a drinker so I don't know what it's like to be in recovery.  I've had an alcoholic step-dad who went into recovery.  He was PROUD that he was in recovery.  He was not ashamed or embarrassed to tell people that he'd stopped drinking.  It is quite an accomplishment in my view b/c it's a difficult thing to do.  So I think I'd likely share it.

On the other hand, if you're in the early stages & don't want to talk about it or feel pressured by others either way, I might drink the cranberry juice or ginger ale or what ever to disguise it too.



Payden Javery's mom, Cinda

Lilypie Baby Ticker

 

  

Coralsmom

13549 posts

by 
Coralsmom(Twin Cities)

 on Dec 22, 2009 at 03:29 PM

  

  

Personally I am usually sober driver and rarely drink anyway... nobody has ever really asked why I'm not drinking...

If it bothers you ... you can always have coffee with irish creamer in it, and tell them it's Baileys if asked... BUT... I doubt if you will even need to go there... besides..in this day and age... the costs of a DWI aren't worth the one night of drinking.. and I think most people get that...

However... isn't it one of the steps to come out to people... what better way to come out as being sober to friends if asked...masking what your drinking isn't going to help anything.

I think that you are just nervous about it and it'll be fine... just take a deep breath and go have some fun...



 My spelling is excellent! However, my typing skills suck, deal with it..
TC~MN MLM Countess (8000) 

 

  



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